Posted by: Chris Avery | July 2, 2009

How to Get a Bitter, Sullen, Anti-social Delinquent


1. Spoil him. Give him everything he wants, even more than you can afford—just charge it—so you can get him off your back.

2. When he does wrong, nag him a little, but don’t spank him.

3. Foster his dependence on you. Don’t teach him to be independently responsible; maintain his dependence on you, so later on, drugs and alcohol can replace you when he’s older.

4. Protect him from all those “mean” teachers who want to discipline him from time to time, and threaten to sue them if they don’t let him alone.

5. Make all of his decisions for him because he might make mistakes…and learn from them if you don’t.

6. Criticize his father to him or his mother, so your son or daughter will lose respect for his parents.

7. Whenever he gets into trouble bail him out. Besides, if he faces any real consequence it might hurt your reputation.

8. Never let him suffer the consequences of his behavior; always step in and solve his problems for him, so he will depend on you, and run to you when the going gets tough, and never learn how to solve his problems.

9. If you want to turn your child into a delinquent, let him express himself any way he feels like it. Don’t run his life; let him run yours.

10. Don’t bother him with chores; do everything for him…then he can be irresponsible all his life and blame others when things don’t get done right.

11. And, be sure to give in when he throws a temper tantrum.

12. Believe his lies because it’s too much hassle to try to sort through to get the truth.

13. Criticize others openly, criticize others routinely, so that he will continue to realize that he is better than everybody else.

14. Give him a big allowance and don’t make him do anything for it.

15. Praise him for his good looks, never for character, and on it goes.

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